Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban’s Surprising ‘No Texting’ Rule: The Key to Their 18-Year Marriage

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have long been one of Hollywood’s most enduring couples, with their relationship standing strong for nearly two decades. While many aspects of their union might seem typical for two high-profile stars, there’s one surprising detail that has played a significant role in their long-lasting happiness: their “no texting” rule.

In a 2023 appearance on the Something To Talk About podcast, Kidman opened up about this unique communication rule, revealing that it was actually her idea. “We never text each other, can you believe that? We started out that way—I was like, ‘If you want to get a hold of me, call me,'” the Moulin Rouge actress explained. She admitted that she was never really fond of texting, and while Urban did try texting her a few times in the early stages of their relationship, he eventually gave up when Kidman wasn’t very responsive. Fast forward 18 years, and the couple only communicates through calls, FaceTime, or face-to-face conversations.

“We just do voice to voice or skin to skin, as we always say,” Kidman shared. She went on to explain that texting can often be misinterpreted, which is something she wanted to avoid in her relationship with Urban. “I don’t want that between my lover and I,” she said, emphasizing the importance of clear, direct communication in maintaining their bond.

This “no texting” rule may seem unconventional, but it actually highlights a deeper philosophy about how the couple prioritizes meaningful connection. Research suggests that voice communication helps individuals feel more connected compared to texting, as hearing someone’s voice creates a sense of intimacy that written words simply cannot convey. In a world where technology can often foster distance rather than closeness, taking the time to speak directly to one another is something that Kidman and Urban clearly value.

However, calling instead of texting isn’t without its challenges. Some might find that phone calls create more anxiety or require more effort than sending a quick text, especially for mundane tasks like reminding your partner to pick up groceries. But for Kidman and Urban, it seems that the emotional reward of speaking in real-time outweighs any inconvenience.

Kidman’s perspective also aligns with broader research on relationship dynamics. While texting can sometimes be convenient, it often leads to misunderstandings, especially when tone and intent can be easily lost in a message. By choosing to call instead of text, Kidman and Urban are ensuring that their conversations remain clear, direct, and emotionally resonant.

Ultimately, the real lesson here is not about adopting a “no texting” rule, but rather about crafting a communication style that works for both partners. As Urban himself said during an interview with E! News at the CMT Music Awards, “You guys figure out whatever works for you… We’re figuring it out. You figure it out. Everybody’s different. There’s no one size fits all.”

For couples who prefer texting, the key is establishing healthy “text hygiene”—such as avoiding too many questions, respecting each other’s schedules, and using text for lighter matters rather than deep discussions or conflict resolution. If texting works for you and your partner, that’s great! But if you feel like something else might create a deeper connection, don’t be afraid to explore alternatives.

At the end of the day, Kidman and Urban’s “no texting” rule is just one example of how couples can carve out their own path to relationship success. Communication is the foundation of any relationship, and it’s up to each couple to figure out what feels right for them. Just like Nicole and Keith, what works for one couple might be completely different for another, and that’s the beauty of love and partnership.