Hilariously Unfiltered: The Funniest Mariah Carey Lyrics That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
OPINION: This article may contain commentary which reflects the author's opinion.
Mariah Carey, the undisputed queen of vocal gymnastics and the architect of some of the most iconic pop songs of our time, is renowned for her incredible vocal range, glittering performances, and larger-than-life persona. While her ballads and love songs often tug at our heartstrings, there’s another side to Mariah that fans adore—her witty, unfiltered sense of humor. Carey’s lyrics are often sprinkled with a healthy dose of humor, sass, and playful shade that never fail to entertain. Here are some of the funniest Mariah Carey lyrics that will make you laugh out loud.
1. “Obsessed”
“Why you so obsessed with me? Boy, I wanna know / Lying that you’re sexing me when everybody knows / It’s clear that you’re upset with me, oh, finally found a girl that you couldn’t impress / Last man on the earth still couldn’t get this”
“Obsessed” is a masterclass in playful shade. Carey’s pointed lyrics directed at an ex-lover (widely speculated to be Eminem) are both humorous and cutting. Her effortless delivery of lines like “Last man on the earth still couldn’t get this” showcases her ability to mix humor with self-confidence, leaving us laughing and admiring her at the same time.
2. “Touch My Body”
“Touch my body / Throw me on the floor / Wrestle me around / Play with me some more”
In “Touch My Body,” Mariah Carey takes a sultry approach with a cheeky twist. The imagery of playful wrestling and her demands to be played with adds a fun, almost childlike humor to the otherwise sensual song. It’s a perfect example of how Carey blends sexiness with a sense of fun, making the song both flirty and funny.
3. “It’s Like That”
“I came to have a party / Open up the Bacardi / Feeling so hot tamale / Boy, I know you’re watching me, so what’s it gonna be?”
In “It’s Like That,” Mariah Carey sets the scene for a night out with her trademark wit. Describing herself as a “hot tamale” and inviting listeners to join her party is both humorous and infectious. The line “Open up the Bacardi” is an invitation to let loose and enjoy, encapsulating her carefree party spirit with a smile.
4. “Heartbreaker” (Featuring Jay-Z)
“Boy, your love’s so good / I don’t wanna let go / And although I should / I can’t leave you alone”
While “Heartbreaker” is a song about a troublesome lover, Mariah injects humor into the chorus by juxtaposing the serious theme of heartbreak with the playful admission that she can’t resist the charm of her heartbreaker. The playful tone of her delivery, especially in the music video where she portrays both herself and her alter ego, adds a humorous layer to the song’s narrative.
5. “Honey”
“Oh, honey got me hooked on you / I like that / And I can’t stop the way that I feel / I just can’t believe it’s real”
In “Honey,” Mariah Carey’s playful affection for her lover is sweet and light-hearted. The way she likens her lover to “honey” and describes her infatuation with a mix of disbelief and humor is endearing. The song’s playful nature, combined with its catchy melody, makes it one of her most charmingly funny tracks.
6. “Thirsty”
“You tryna be a boss now / Thinkin’ you a G / You tryna flex, huh? / But you don’t got shh”
In “Thirsty,” Mariah Carey takes a jab at a wannabe suitor with biting humor. Her use of the term “thirsty” to describe someone desperate for attention is both modern and hilarious. The lyrics are filled with humorous disdain, making it clear that she’s not impressed by shallow attempts to win her over.
7. “Obsessed” (Again, because it’s that funny)
“You’re delusional, boy, you’re losing your mind / It’s confusing, yo, you’re confused, you know / Why you wasting your time?”
The repeated mention of “Obsessed” is warranted because the song is packed with so many funny lines. Calling out the subject of the song as “delusional” and “confused” is delivered with such playful confidence that it’s impossible not to laugh at the sheer audacity of it all.
Mariah Carey’s humor shines brightly through her lyrics, adding an extra layer of enjoyment to her music. Whether she’s playfully shading an ex or describing a night out, her ability to blend humor with her musical talents makes her songs memorable and fun. So next time you listen to a Mariah Carey track, keep an ear out for the witty, hilarious lines that prove she’s not just a diva with a powerful voice, but also a queen of comedy.